Equip Yourself for Change
Change is inevitable. Sometimes we welcome change, but sometimes we fight it.
As I prepared for a major change this summer, I noticed a few home improvements that would help make the change go smoother. One of these was making sure my family members had adequate bedding for needed times of rest. I had realized we had several ripped, torn, and matted pillows on different beds in the house.
Sometimes we get so accustomed to working with what we have, we don’t realize there is room for improvement under the surface. It can feel this way when we face changes from miniscule to major. A small inconvenience - having to change a daily route we travel, not having a planned meal ingredient available - can throw us off. A huge event, like a move or a loss of a job or relationship, can be devastating.
Therapy can help us identify what we are working with before, during, and after the change. We can gain information that can help us process our feelings and consider next steps. When we can’t control external factors of change, we find we can control our response to them, to a varying extent. If we know about a change in advance, we can use the opportunity to plan and prepare.
Over the years I have come to understand more about this process and improve my own response to inevitable changes. I have practiced trying to balance an anxious reflex to over-prepare and exhaust myself, with a calm approach of allowing the change to enter my life.
In the case of my big summer change, I worked with my family to narrow our collective focus down to household improvements that would provide for comfort and functionality in the weeks ahead. We found that making a small improvement in the places we sleep is helping lay a foundation for enough rest to meet the unknown factors that are still ahead.
I have also reviewed an important consideration for other times in life. Sometimes, we must release former attachments in order to face the change ahead. Voluntarily letting go of well-loved pillows is not nearly the same as experiencing an involuntary loss, but being able to practice letting go can be helpful. As much as we would like some things to last forever, we know how quickly life can change.
At Kildaire Counseling, we help you navigate times of change, whether these are times you anticipate or times that hit unexpectedly. With my work with artists in particular, I understand and can help you face situations like disappointing auditions, streaks of low sales or rejections, and lingering post-show blues. The transient nature of gig work, show business, and other artistic highs and lows can create more than a bump in the road. Sometimes you just need someone to listen and help you process what’s happening, and other times you may need more concrete steps to plan for and accommodate change. I am ready to partner with you to find your own balanced understanding of change and how you handle it best.
