Intimate Subjects
Intimate Subjects
In addition to my role as a psychotherapist, many people also know me as a professional intimacy and mental health coordinator for film and live performance. In this role, I am very much like a stunt coordinator or fight director in that I help to choreograph scenes of intimate contact or realistic mental health depictions. I facilitate communication with entertainment production teams as to what the project includes, what is being asked of performers and crew, and how we can best collaborate to care for the emotional wellbeing of everyone before, during and after the performance. Safety is at the forefront.
This specialized work is based on a foundation of consent and boundaries. These concepts are not exclusive to intimacy, but are very essential when approaching this topic.
As a psychotherapist, while I am not a certified sex therapist at this time, I have completed extensive training in the realm of sexuality, attachment, consent, and relationships in context of societal and cultural factors. Besides my work and continuing education for film and live performance, I also pursue regular clinical learning opportunities about the role of sexuality in human life. In the past year, I have completed a multi-day training with Dr. Laurie Watson of Foreplay Radio. This training in particular provided much insight into the sexual domains of relationships.
I bring these topics to light in this blog today because I want to let you know that at Kildaire Counseling, there is no topic that is “taboo” or “off limits.” Therapy is for bringing up the issues that weigh on your mind. This includes sexuality, your sex life, and other issues regarding intimate relations. Sexuality in its full spectrum is part of human life. It can certainly be part of your therapy session. Getting to know your boundaries, and working on communication with others, are foundational skills for intimate relationships.
It’s important to know that intimacy does not only comprise sexual behaviors. It can include anything you would share with another person, that you would not share with the general public. Sharing closely-held ideas, revealing parts of yourself that you do not reveal widely, engaging in healing with another person, or building routines with a partner/partners are all examples of intimacy between individuals.
If you’re curious about learning more, I recommend the podcast mentioned previously for individuals 18+ seeking a variety of information on sexuality in relationships.
I also recommend the medically-reviewed Attachment Style Quiz found on PsychCentral. It can give you insight into your behavior with partner(s) and the possible origins in caregiver relationships from childhood. This page includes a brief summary of attachment theory.
The Gottman Institute Blog and Love Languages Quizzes are other resources that are often popular with individuals looking to gain more insight into how they relate with partners.
Polysecure and other books by psychotherapist Jessica Fern provide contemporary updates to the understanding of these subjects for people in non-monogamous relationships.
I’m always looking for more up-to-date research on these topics. If you know of other resources that encompass broad understandings of people and how they relate, please feel free to reach out and let me know about them.
