Trust and the Therapeutic Alliance
Many of us have a fundamental issue with trusting other people. Some would say this traces back to an early human development stage of basic trust versus mistrust. Erik Erikson developed the psychosocial theory that proposes if we do not learn to trust our caregivers and environment during infancy, we can also struggle with trusting throughout our life. This may vary according to the individual and their life path. Attachment styles and life experiences come into play as people learn to relate with others during their lifespan. Secure attachments can begin in the early years, but can continue to be formed throughout life with various people. Relationships, and trust, can also suffer within these interactions.
If you struggle with trusting others, it can be a challenge to consider entering therapy.
What good will therapy do if you feel people have only let you down?
What good will it do if you feel you can’t put your full belief in the therapist’s care for you?
A good therapist will create a holding environment for feelings like this and other barriers you may have in sharing yourself and your emotions. A healing space within the therapy session can be therapeutic in itself. Your session can be a tool for restoring hope and trust in the concept that you can share your true self, and be cared for. It can help you know from experience that your voice is heard and you matter.
A therapeutic alliance between you and your therapist is created over time. This is a professional working relationship that goes both ways with an end goal of helping you. It is different from friendship. It may not happen instantly, especially as many emotions can flow during the therapy sessions. Gradually, we hope you will feel more and more at ease in our sessions. We hope your body and mind will both feel the somatic sensation of being regulated together, even when it’s time to face tough thoughts and feelings.
You can read more about the therapeutic alliance here.
I will write more on the mind-body connection in future blog topics on the parasympathetic nervous system, but for now I offer a small exercise. When you put aside your device after reading this post, place one hand on your heart. Feel it beating. Take a deep breath through your nose, and exhale through your mouth. In this moment, you are connecting with your body and its sensations. When we work together at Kildaire Counseling, we will help you attune to your body sensations in sessions to gain awareness of how you feel emotionally. We will work together to create a safe alliance so that you can feel trust developing, and learn how it shows up in other relationships in your life.
Ready to connect?
