Facing Our Feelings
One of the primary principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) is that of being able to identify our emotions. We have to know what we are feeling before we can figure out where the feeling came from or how we want to deal with it. When we are able to recognize what we are feeling, we hold a key to unlocking our next steps.
For many reasons, it can be difficult at times to understand what we are feeling. Maybe for a long time we have been conditioned that a certain emotion is “bad” and we “shouldn’t” feel that way. Maybe we are overwhelmed with multiple feelings at once. Maybe the feeling is so strong that we experience a shutdown of the mind or body. Or maybe we aren’t used to saying out loud how we feel, and putting it into words may simply seem foreign to us.
Different reasons may lead us to discomfort with naming and facing feelings. Going to therapy can be one place to start with getting to know our emotions. A trusted therapist can listen and help you figure out what you are experiencing. Sometimes it can help just to say it out loud or write it down.
One tool I love to use is the Feelings Wheel.
Take a moment and check out this tool, created by Geoffrey Roberts. Six primary emotions are in the center, then secondary emotions branch out from each of those. The outside of the wheel contains even more specific tertiary emotions that can really help narrow down the detail of how you feel at a given moment.
Learning the right word to describe an emotion is a useful step in identifying what it is we are feeling. Once we recognize what it is we feel, we gain the power to express that feeling accurately. When we can express the feeling, we are taking an important step in owning the feeling and deciding what to do next.
This skill – learning to identify emotions – can help anyone, at any point in life. For those who are ready to start the journey into therapy, it is a foundational skill we will work on together. We can learn to reflect on feelings, explore them safely, communicate them to others, and accept them as a part of our lives.
How are you feeling today?
